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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 9:51:39 GMT -7
Ratings vary per entry, never will go over T.
Collection of shortfics written by me. They don't tie in together, it's just easier to count them as part of the same collection than to make individual entries for every single one.
Family
Dropping to the ground, he sighed quietly, the sound lost in the wind. He breathed in deep the early fall air, sweet scents carried on the breeze. Staring out on the lake, he ignored the cheerful sounds of people all around him. He had too much on his mind to pay any more attention than was necessary, trusting his highly tuned instincts to keep him safe. Just what was he to do? He'd never thought to find himself in this situation, yet here it was upon him.
Sousuke Sagara was going to be a father.
He smiled faintly, wistfully at the thought. Kaname had woken up before him that morning, made him breakfast, and told him before he left on his morning jog. For that, he was grateful, and he was fairly sure she'd done it on purpose, to give him time to think about it. Of course, he'd immediately turned doting and concerned, making sure she was all right, did she need anything, could he do anything, and he was promptly shoved out the door with an admonishment.
"I'm pregnant, not an invalid! Business as usual, soldier!"
Grinning at his foolishness, he shook his head at the memory. He wasn't sure he'd manage to keep it 'business as usual' but he had a feeling she knew that. It was in his nature to be overprotective of her, and knowing she was carrying his child, well... He was doomed to nine months of angry-wife induced migraines.
He didn't mind. It would all be worth it. It already was. Standing up, he wiped the dirt off his pants and looked around. Families walking and enjoying the cool weather, smiling, talking, laughing. The carefree joy he saw had been such a foreign concept to him a few years ago.
Now?
Smiling, Sousuke shoved his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slid back, relaxed. Walking off in the direction of the apartment he lived in with his wife, his family, he wondered if Kaname would beat him when he suggested they take a walk together. A walk in the park, as a family, happy and blessed.
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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 9:52:13 GMT -7
Rationale
Tugging on her bangs, Kaname growled in frustration. The reaction was nothing new for her, but she didn't feel it was too much to ask to have one day go by without her boyfriend giving her a migraine. She sat down heavily on a bench, tilting her head back to look at the sky.
That was certainly a depressing thought.
Just what were they doing, anyways? He always did something to irritate her. She always hit him and yelled at him over every little thing. They made each other miserable. Dropping her entire body forward, she sighed and stared at her feet.
She heard footsteps approach, but she couldn't bring herself to look up. The person sat down beside her, and she knew full well who it was. With a sigh, she barely forced out the words to voice her thoughts, "Why are we even together when we always make each other miserable?"
There was silence, but it seemed as though the air had gotten heavier. She thought for sure they would have to go back in for class before she got a response. A warm hand sought out hers and squeezed gently. He reached out with his other to lightly tap her chin and urge her to lift her face to look at him.
"Because we always make it worth it. Because we only hurt each other because we care so much. Because without each other, we can't do anything, but together, we can go anywhere." He paused, glanced away and took in a deep breath. His gaze met hers again, gray eyes so intense she felt her throat catch. "because when you smile, I have everything I need, and no matter what, I will always find a way to bring that smile back. Especially when I'm the one who took it away."
Eyes blurring from tears, Kaname could hardly believe what she was hearing. It wasn't like him to say so much, but then he was a man who used the best tool for the job. He just didn't usually consider words to be that tool.
As the words sank in, she felt remarkably at ease. Even better, really, and she blinked her eyes rapidly to clear them. A smile lit up her features, and she could see Sousuke relax and return the expression. "We're the only ones who are crazy enough to put up with each other, anyways. And, you know," she tilted her head to the side and laughed a little, "as angry as you make me, as much as you drive me nuts, you're the only one who makes me happy. Without you, I'm lonely and miserable."
"Hm," he seemed a little off-put, but then he grinned and shook his head. "Well, that's it then."
He tried to stand, but she squeezed his hand and tugged him back down. "I'm sorry. I do know why we're together, why we work. I was just upset. I didn't mean to, to hurt or upset you."
"It's all right. I understand." This time, she let him stand, and he tugged her to her feet before him. "I'm glad you said something. I would have hated watching you let those thoughts tear at you."
"Thank you," she whispered softly. "I love you." Leaning up on her tip-toes, she kissed him timidly, and the bell rang for fifth period to start.
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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 9:52:45 GMT -7
Somnambulist
Kaname stirred in her sleep. Sighing, she pulled the covers from her face and blinked sleepily. Was someone there? Planting her feet on the ground, she yawned as she stood up, stepping over to grab her bat that she never kept far from her reach. Opening up her bedroom door, she paused, seeing a familiar form sitting at her kitchen table. She dropped the bat and walked over, rubbing the back of her head, "Sousuke."
"Kaname. I'm sorry I was gone for so long," he whispered hoarsely, looking up at her with regret.
She dug in the cabinets for a pair of glasses and filled them with water. Setting a glass down in front of him, she sat down in the seat beside him. Playing with her glass before drinking it, she squeezed her eyes shut. "I wish you wouldn't leave for so long. I'm so lonely without you," she murmured.
"I know," she felt a hand on her cheek, and she looked up with a sad smile.
Reaching her hand up to cover his, she leaned against his warm, surprisingly soft hand. "I get so lost. I worry and worry and I can't seem to do anything else."
"I know," he repeated, slowly drawing his hand away and taking hers with it. "I'm sorry."
"Don't, just, don't leave me again?" she whimpered.
His eyes were remorseful and he shook his head slowly, "You know I can't promise that."
Glaring down at her glass, she took another sip with a sigh. Changing topics, she looked at him and shook her head, "School has been interesting. I'm glad I chose a challenging major. I would be bored to tears if all my classes were math or science."
He smiled to her and nodded, "You're extremely intelligent and competitive. I'm glad you found something you enjoy."
"Thanks," she laughed shortly and began detailing the friends she had made since he had been gone. She talked about shopping, about the teasing her new friends gave her, about anything at all that came to mind until her voice was catching too much.
Standing up, Sousuke motioned her to her feet and she obeyed. Strong arms enveloped her and he kissed her on the forehead. "You need your sleep. Come on."
"Yeah," she followed him to her room, fell into bed, and back to sleep.
Waking up the next morning, she reached her arm out to find the bed empty. The open spot wasn't even warm. Typical. Frowning, she pulled herself out of bed and walked into the kitchen. On the table sat two glasses, one drained and one untouched. Plopping down in a chair opposite the cups, she stared at them for a long while. She dropped her head into her hands and felt her body shudder with a sob.
Again.
The one-sided conversation, the ghost feelings, the water, the water... Always untouched.
Body shaking, she could not help the tears that flowed down her cheeks or the strangled sobs. He hadn't been there. He was never there, not anymore. Not since that mission. That time, that phone call...
That funeral.
They buried an empty casket. She would never know what happened to him. No one did, just that there was no way he could have survived. That lack of closure, well, it did a number on her psyche. The conversations she had with the memory of him, they were all that allowed her to sleep some nights, but come the morning was another matter entirely.
Those mornings were the worst of tortures.
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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 9:53:06 GMT -7
Homecoming
Standing in front of the door, he gazed at the thick slab of wood that stood in his way. It was difficult, he couldn't decide what to do. Should he just turn around and leave? Or should he rap his knuckles against its surface and see what happened? He desperately wanted to see her, to speak with her, to find out how she had been doing all these years.
But was that selfish of him?
If she had found someone else, would he be interrupting her happiness? It wasn't that he expected her to be with him again, though it would certainly be nice. But if she had moved on, if she was happy in her new life, then he might cause her pain just by being there. Sighing, he hung his head, hands balled into tight fists at his sides, teeth grinding together as he fought against the negative emotions that swamped him. What to do...
"Sousuke?"
A breathless voice spoke up from beside him.
Looking up sharply, his eyes widened in shock as he stared at the woman that had somehow managed to sneak up beside him. All the tension left his body at once and he stared openly at her, taking in every last detail. Her hair was shorter than he remembered, but not 'short.' It fell to the small of her back, or the longest parts of it did, at any rate. It was layered, far more drastically than it was before. Shorter strands sat over her shoulders, falling over her chest, her bangs were angled and pinned to cut across her face rather than frame it, and her hair slid in front of her ear only on one side and barely reached her shoulder.
Everything else about her, however, was as he remembered. From her lightly tanned skin, her slim but athletic figure, the minimal make-up to just bring out the best of her facial features, bright amber eyes, and her sense of fashion. Clothes that made her look so mature, and yet young by the way they complimented her curves perfectly.
He swallowed thickly, realizing she was waiting for him to say something. Meeting her gaze, he let out a breath he had been holding, face red from lack of oxygen, and swallowed again. Not knowing what to say, he was surprised when his lips and tongue moved of their own accord, and said what had been on his mind as he took in the sight of her, "Beautiful..."
A hand cupped his cheek, fingertip tracing the scar along his jawline. She smiled up at him, a faint blush on her cheeks, and she couldn't keep the humor out of her voice, "We don't see each other for years, and the first thing you say is something about my looks? And here I thought you saw more than just my body."
"I do," he gulped, turning his body to face her completely, hands resting on her hips. "It's more than just your body that's beautiful."
"I missed you," she whispered, sorrow and longing clear in her expression as she gazed up into his eyes.
"I was lonely without you. I'm sorry," he murmured, bending his head to rest his forehead against hers.
Fingers threaded through his hair and teased at his scalp. His eyes closed and he sighed happily, enjoying the tender ministrations. "As long as you're okay. That's all that matters."
But he wasn't, not completely. His physical health had recovered, but from everything that he had endured in those years he was forcibly removed from her side...
She seemed to understand without him saying anything. Perhaps it was his tightening grip, the slight shiver of his body, the quickening breath, but she understood. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she held him tight for several moments, waiting for the worst of his quivering to subside before she took a step towards her door, hand gripping his elbow. "Come on. You look like you could use some rest, and my bed is comfortable."
Any fears he had about whether or not she would still accept him went right out the window. He nodded dumbly and followed her inside. The simple gesture laid the foundation to his full recovery. She never ceased to amaze him, and her effect on him was everything he remembered and more.
It was everything he needed, just then.
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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 9:53:54 GMT -7
Reason
"Sousuke?"
"Hm?"
Kaname stood beside the bed in their small hotel room, tapping her finger next to his wallet on the nightstand and gazing down at it. She bit her lip nervously as she considered her next words. They were on the run, having spent the past week and then some traveling the length of Japan, sometimes going backwards a few towns just in hopes of throwing off the people that may still be trying to pursue them, though they surely lost them some time ago. It wasn't even safe for Sousuke to contact Mithril and arrange transport. They'd had to dump their cell phones, they never returned to their apartments, and he couldn't really call them through conventional means. The routing he'd have to go through, the lines he'd have to work his way through, it was likely they'd be tracked and, since their line wouldn't be safe, any transport they did arrange would likely turn into a battle in their attempt to make it.
No, they were on their own, doing things the old fashioned way. Sousuke had his personal contacts, he had his sources, he had his stashes and all of his connections. They would make it out of Japan. They would make it to a place that they could contact Mithril from. It was going to take time, but they'd get there.
But they weren't ever coming back to Japan.
"Chidori?"
She had been silent too long. Lifting her head slowly, she turned to look at Sousuke for just a moment before her gaze went downwards once more. Her voice was soft with an edge of something close to, but not quite, fear. "Sousuke... It's our last night in Japan."
"Mm. I'm sorry." He was standing several paces behind her, stiff and alert as ever. Though she was sure he was listening for every noise around them, that he was paying attention to everything there was to, she could also feel his gaze on her back, knew that he was staring at her intently, focusing on her and her body language and whatever she had to say.
Sighing, she closed her eyes and shook her head. It wasn't his fault, he had nothing to apologize for. "I always thought we'd have more time. I was really naive, huh? But, I thought, I thought we'd always have more time. I never thought it would really come to this."
She heard him shuffle uncomfortably, and then he spoke up in a strained voice filled with regret, "I, I wasn't much better. I wanted those days to last forever, and I thought that I could protect them. I was so sure of it."
Kaname couldn't help but to smile a bit at that. It actually helped to relax her a bit, and she finally turned around to face him completely, her fingers loosely gripping the edge of the end table that she barely leaned her weight back against. "I know... Look. What I'm really trying to say here is... I should have said this sooner. But I didn't. I don't know why, but I've been holding back, even when I knew I should say it, I just never could get those words out. But this is it. It's our last day, and I don't want to look back on my time here with any regrets.
"Sousuke. I love you."
His eyes went wide and he stared at her, slack-jawed and in shock. He regained his composure though, and he looked aside. She could see on his face that he was searching not for his response, but for the precise words to voice what he wanted. He knew what he wanted to say, just not how to say it. Though, as much as she wanted to hear his response, she needed to get out the rest of what she had to say, even if she just embarrassed herself. She picked up the wallet that had been beside her hand and he gave her a curious look. From within, she pulled out the small package that she knew he kept in there, and why he thought it necessary. Flipping it over in her fingers, she analyzed it carefully for a moment before nodding resolutely and looking up at him with her cheeks rapidly reddening. "I, I also think that, that it's, ah, time you learned what this is really for."
"Chidori?" He was definitely confused. He cocked his head to the side and nearly went cross-eyed as he tried to work out what she was talking about. To him, it was a leap in the total opposite direction from what she was saying.
To her, it had everything to do with it. "S-Sousuke, wh-what I'm t-tr-trying to s-say i-is," she bit her lip hard and took in a deep breath, steadying her nerves, or trying to. "I love you. And, and I should have told you a long time ago. And if I did, then, then we probably would have, uhm, by now, we would have," she closed her eyes. She took another deep breath. She opened those eyes and she met his confused expression squarely, cheeks bright red though her voice finally steady as she willed herself to get that sentence out, "I want for you to take my virginity tonight."
"Chi-Chidori!" Whatever shock and confusion he bore just moments earlier didn't even compare to the pure disbelief and awe on his face just then. He stared at her, perhaps waiting for her to take back those words, to tell him it was all a joke, but she continued to meet his gaze, though it took all of her willpower to hold it, and he slowly started to come down from the initial jolt and really think about those words. Minutes passed before he finally spoke up, "Chidori. Are you, I mean, are you really sure? I'm not, I've never, I don't know how, and, and we aren't, this is, it's kind of sudden, and I don't want for you to, to regret it, or-."
"I'll regret it only if we don't. Sousuke, I mean it. You're the only one I trust, you're the only one I want this with, and it should have happened a long time ago. I want it to happen here, in Japan. I thought we would have more time, but we didn't, and I don't want to look back and think of everything I wasted so much time avoiding. If it doesn't happen here, Sousuke, I just...," she shook her head and looked at him, her expression pleading for him to understand. She just really hoped she wasn't embarrassing herself by offering herself to someone who wasn't interested.
Sousuke closed his eyes. What she said, to a point, he understood it. He had his own regrets too, he wished he'd had the courage to confess his own feelings to her so long ago. They'd thought they would have forever, but the eternity had become ephemeral instead. What seemed like so much time now seemed so scant. Sousuke met her gaze again and he gave her a tight nod, taking a cautious step towards her. "I, I understand, Chidori. But, truly, are you sure?" He had to know. He would hate himself if she felt rushed into it.
Seeing what it was that he really wanted from her now, she gave him a shy smile and a hesitant nod before speaking up, "Just, one thing? I just, I want to know, I need to know, how, what are your feelings, for me?"
That expression he wore when she had confessed returned. He sought for the right words and decided to give up the search to just say what was on his mind. "In my life, there have been many instances where I've been ready to die. I've been ready to die for causes, I've been ready to die for people, I've been ready to die just to put an end to the monotony, I've been ready to die simply because I expected to but couldn't run away. I've been ready to die to keep information out of enemy hands, I've been ready to die to allow people to escape. So, when I say that I'm willing to die for you, from me, that does not mean much."
She wilted just a bit. Her head bowed and her hands balled into tight, shaking fists.
"But. When I was assigned the mission to guard you, I was ready to die to protect you, since that was my job. You yelled at me for it though, and I realized that I actually wanted to return with you. The job ended, or so I thought, and I was relieved when I was told that it was going to be indefinite, since the threat could never truly be neutralized. Then, when I was taken away from you, it felt more like everything had been taken from me. And after everything that week, I fought to get them to let me stay. I would have quit if they hadn't. Because, that was when I realized, I had found something, someone, that I was willing to live for."
Slowly, she looked up at him. Her fists loosened, and she met his gaze. Hers was a blend of sorrow and hope, his was unreadable, but incredibly focused on her. No, not unreadable. In those depths gazing at her so intently was a passion he'd kept in check for so long. And now it was spilling out. "Chidori, I'm in love with you, as well."
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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 9:54:38 GMT -7
Eyes On Me
How she never noticed it before would remain a mystery for all their days.
Leaning back into the cushion of her couch, Kaname smiled tenderly down at the pages of a scrapbook Kyouko had assembled for her. The photos were from the past three years of school at Jindai High. The girl had put together different books for herself and the closest friends. Kaname, of course, received one. Onodera did as well, and he had seemed quite embarrassed when she handed it to him, saying that it was such a girly thing. Well, it was a gift from a girl, so what did he expect? Sousuke got the fourth, and last, of the large, heavily decorated books. He had seemed flustered, not understanding. When he began flipping through the pages, though, it finally made sense to him, and he was deeply gratified for the gift. Memories he had plenty of, but momentos were sparse in his life. That book was one of the few things he would work to preserve, no matter where his life would take him.
The first pages of Kaname's book were photos from their first year at Jindai. Sousuke hadn't attended the school yet, and so he was abset from any of those pictures. There were some snapshots of the orientation ceremony, and she shook her head slightly at what she noticed as she worked through the book. That first year, there was sadness on her face throughout all of the pictures. Loneliness. That was the first year she had lived alone, her father and sister moving back to New York not long before her high school years had begun. When Kaname got to the second year photos, she noticed a change. After Sousuke had transferred to their school, her loneliness had subsided, and the further along she got, the happier she looked.
That wasn't the only thing she noticed, however. What she saw when she looked at Sousuke surprised her. In nearly every photo with the two of them present, his eyes were locked on her. When he had first transferred, he had been constantly watching her. She understood now, that it was because he was there to guard her. It had creeped her out in the beginning, to have a stranger so intently staring at her. After she learned the reason, she had started to tune it out. But when was it that his expression had changed? Those early photos, he watched her and their surroundings with that steady focus that had kept him alive all these years. As the months passed, though, he stopped paying as much attention to what went on around them. His eyes were locked onto her, more and more. That look on his face had evolved, from everything being a matter of duty, to watching her with genuine interest, and was that awe?
Closing the book, she tilted her head back, eyes closed, and let out a soft sigh. How had she never noticed the looks he gave her? It seemed so obvious, when faced with the obvious. What was even worse, there were plenty of photos where their gazes had caught one another, and the looks they shared between each other spoke volumes. So why was it so hard for either one of them to say the words their eyes tried to communicate?
He laid back on his cot, book on his lap, propped up by legs drawn up. The book given to him by Kyouko at their graduation ceremony was fascinating to him. That she had taken such time on the project for even him, he wasn't sure exactly how he felt about it. It was clear that she had personalized each of the books, as his contained mainly only photos from when he had transferred to Jindai. The few exceptions were photos of Kaname from her first year that Kyouko thought he might enjoy. A picture of Kaname in her first-year uniform, hair tied up in a high ponytail, so much life and fight in every aspect of her pose as she stood up at a podium, declaring why she should be voted in for the Student Council, was easily one of his favorites. It was on the very first page, taking center stage, and it captured the girl's spirit so perfectly that he couldn't help but to stare at it.
Smiling as his thoughts focused on the girl, he finally brought his hand up to flip the page. As he went through it, truly looking at the photos for the first time, he was amazed by what he saw. He had always thought Kaname hated him for much of their time together at first, but as he looked through and was able to compare, he found that wasn't the case. If anything, she looked to be enjoying herself, even when she was beating him. Oh, yes, there were a few pictures of him being abused. Rather than being miffed or sorrowful at their inclusion, he was amused. Kyouko had chosen well, taking care only to find pictures where Kaname looked to be having fun. Sousuke could take the abuse easier, seeing how much it had helped the girl dishing it out. She seemed forlorn in some of the pictures, but in every single picture that he, too, was in, she was happy.
He would wonder about that, wonder if it was his imagination, if not for the little notes Kyouko had written, and that Kaname's eyes always seemed focused on him when she seemed her brightest. Coming to the end of the book, he stared at the final picture featured for as long as he had stared at the first. He had actually forgotten about that moment. Their second-year athletic festival had gone extremely well for them. Onodera and Sousuke were the two most athletic boys in the school. Oh, there were plenty of others who were good at one thing or another, but they had the most range in their physical abilities. Kaname, Kyouko, and most the rest of the girl's softball team were in their class as well, and so they had just about completely dominated all of the competition.
The photograph was at the end of the day. They were celebrating their victories, and Kaname had given him one of the rare, cherished compliments. In the excitement, she had wrapped her arms around one of his, ducking her body so she could tilt her head back to look straight up at his face. Their cheeks were flushed from the events of the day, the enthusiasm running rampant, and he noticed for the first time just how close their faces were, as she told him how impressed she was with him, and he had returned the sentiment. He wondered when else he had ever felt such joy, and pride. Everything in his life, and an inconsequential competition between classmates was one of his greatest achievements.
Or was that it?
No, he smiled down at the photo, closing his eyes slowly as he thought about it with a slight shake of his head. Winning the competition wasn't the achievement. It was having those bright eyes, full of excitement, turned on him and only him, the pride and joy so clear on her face, and all of it directed at him.
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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 9:55:04 GMT -7
Food
Sousuke hadn't anticipated things to have taken so long. Had he known, he would have brought along something more substantial than a snack for his young daughter. Walking out of the building carrying the four-year-old girl, friends Kurz and Mao trailing behind them, Sousuke looked down the length of the street in either direction, trying to think of where to bring the child. Kurz slapped his back lightly, grinning up at him, "If you've got the time, we should all go to the park. It's a nice day, and it'd give us a chance to get to know this little lady better."
His friends hadn't been able to ever spend much time getting to know her. They knew of her, had seen her a time or two, particularly when she was an infant, but that was as far as it went. Their lives had gone separate ways, and they didn't get to see much of each other. When they did, Sousuke didn't usually have the girl with him.
Considering it, he decided that would be fine, as Kaname wasn't likely to be home for some time that day. "Sure. But first, I need to get some food in her. If I don't feed her soon, she's likely to decide I'm edible."
The girl tilted her head at that statement, looking up at her father curiously. A moment later, she had chomped his shoulder. Blinking down at her, Sousuke shook his head slightly and gave a small sigh. "Like that," he mumbled, with no trace of annoyance in his voice. If anything, he had managed to sound both deadpan and amused at the same time. The longer she sat there with her teeth around his shoulder, the more he amused he became. Lifting both brows at her behavior, he brought up his free hand to grab hold of her arm. He regarded her small hand for a moment, gave a look out of the corner of his eye, and then lightly close his mouth around the side of her hand.
Kurz and Mao watched, stifling their laughter at the unusual behavior their friend exhibited when with his daughter. He always managed to seem so child-like when with her. It surprised them, just how well he did with kids. They had never doubted he would make a good father, but they never thought he'd be so fun of one.
Grimacing around her mouthful, the child finally pulled back after some time, making a face at her hand in her father's mouth. "You're gross, Daddy."
He tried to smile, not an easy thing to accomplish with his mouth on her hand. Shaking his head slightly, his words were muffled by the captive extremity, "You started it."
Looking for all the world highly offended, the child admonished her father in as close to an imitation of her mother's tone as she could manage, "Don't speak with your mouth full."
Sousuke chuckled, digging a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping her hand down. Kissing her forehead, he adjusted his hold on her and met her gaze with a grin. "I apologize. Shall we feed you some real food now?"
The change was immediate. She went from trying to appear mature right to her appropriate age, flinging her arms up in the air with excitement and nearly punching her father in the face in doing so. "Yay!"
They started walking down the road, discussing what it was they would find to eat. Trailing behind them, Kurz and Mao kept trading amused looks, laughing quietly at their friend's behavior, and loudly at some of the outrageous things the girl would say. Even with Kaname as the mother, they weren't sure how exactly Sousuke had managed to father such a lively and witty child, but they were sure the girl kept her parents on their toes at all moments. It had to be exhausting. The look on Sousuke's face though, whenever he was with her, whenever he talked about her, whenever she just crossed his mind, well, it was more than obvious it was worth it.
And with the way Sousuke interacted with her, they had to wonder, had his life had been different, perhaps he would have been more like her.
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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 9:58:43 GMT -7
Wasting My TimeAccepting the mug of hot coffee from Kaname, Sousuke thanked her with a quiet murmur. She sat down on the couch beside him, taking a sip of her drink as she made herself comfortable. Closing his eyes, Sousuke waited until the cushions stopped shifting from her movement, slowly opening them with his gaze downcast. Her legs, tucked mostly under her, were brushing against him, and he had to wonder if it was accidental or not. Such thoughts occurred to him more and more, as they grew closer and closer. It wasn't just that they were understanding one another better these days. It wasn't just that they were opening up more and more, letting each other deeper within. As the days went by, they drifted physically closer, as well. When walking home from school, their sleeves, and occasionally their hands, would brush along one another. A drastic difference from nine months ago, when he would trailed a few meters along behind her. When handing each other something, they almost went out of their way to ensure their fingers would brush along the other's, and all without making the conscious decision to do so. Well, I don't want to see you waiting I've already gone too far away I still can't keep the day from ending No more messed up reasons for me to stay The night wore on, their homework completed, dinner eaten, leftovers packed away, dishes cleaned and returned to where they belonged, and yet he lingered. The television program wasn't interesting, not to either one of them, but they were loathe to say their goodbyes. Sousuke glanced over at Kaname, wondering just what it was they were doing. He had a difficult time with emotions, knowing how to express them, but it wasn't often that he knew what he felt, what he wanted, and just lacked the courage to say as much. Letting out a reluctant sigh, his eyes drifted shut as he mentally chided himself. Kaname seemed to take the sigh to mean something else. She stood up slowly and placed a hand on his shoulder, "It is getting pretty late. You should probably get home, and the both of us to our beds." Nodding with agreement, he let her walk him to the foyer. Slipping into his shoes while pulling on his uniform coat, he wished he could just say what it was he felt. He took that first step out into the winter night, turning around to face Kaname as she hid behind the door from the frigid air. Their eyes met and he could see that same yearning in her expression that he felt. Still, though, the words wouldn't come. Taking in a deep breath, he nodded stiffly, "Thank you, Chidori. For everything, as usual." She smiled sadly and nodded, "Don't mention it, Sousuke. I'll see you in school tomorrow." "Tomorrow, then." Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel I just hit the floor, don't ask for more I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason Let's make the call and take it all again, woah again Sitting in the cockpit of the Arbalest, Sousuke closed his eyes and let out a sigh. The mission was finally complete. Or, it would be as soon as the team was safely on Merida Island and debriefed. The main objectives had been achieved, however, and though he knew he shouldn't relax until the RV, he was just too ready to be done with it all. Each mission seemed to be more arduous than the last, and it wasn't the work load. Strumming his fingers on the control grips, he wished he was back home. Once upon a time, the cockpit of an Arm Slave was the most natural place for him to be. Not any longer. Picking up on his mood, Al spoke up, "Question, Sergeant." His eyes cracked open and he looked at the screen with a tired gaze. "What is it?" "The mission was not too long, nor was it difficult. Why do you seem so tired?" Shaking his head, he leaned back with another heavy sigh. "Everything seems longer and harder when you don't want to do it." Al went silent to contemplate the various meanings behind his statement. The quiet gave Sousuke the time to think on it himself. When was it that he came to be tired of this life? Why was it that his view had changed? Her.Thinking back to that long-haired Japanese girl that had turned his world upside-down, he could not help but to smile just a bit. Though he needed, and, indeed, wanted, the resources to keep her safe, what he wanted even more was to just be by her side at all times. But then why was it he kept his mouth shut? Why did he let the days roll by, as they grew closer and yet kept that distance between one another? What did he really have to fear? Months went by with us pretending When did our light turn from green to red? I took a chance and left you standing Lost the will to do this once again Kaname sat on the floor with a blanket draped over her shoulders, school work laid out on the table before her. It was difficult to concentrate though, when her thoughts kept drifting to a certain soldier who, once more, had not shown up for school that 'tomorrow' he said he would. Dropping her pencil on the notebook with disgust, she leaned back against her couch and pulled the blanket tighter around her. It was just three months prior that she had finally admitted to herself that she loved him, and had even mustered up the courage to tell him as much. Then, once facing him, the words caught in her throat and were yet unspoken. It seemed to her that he went through much the same, but she couldn't be sure. Neither one of them was a coward, and, truly, neither one of them could afford to think they had 'all the time in the world,' and yet, neither one of them could just come out and say it, either. Tugging on her bangs with a growl, she shook her head fiercely. "Idiot. The both of us... Idiots." Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel I just hit the floor, don't ask for more I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason Let's make the call and take it all I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time again, woah again A week had passed by 'tomorrow,' and Kaname was packing away her leftovers from the night's meal. Sousuke still had not returned, but from the lack of a phone call, she assumed, and hoped, he was safe enough. She highly doubted he would ever up and disappear like he had three months ago, but that lingering fear was there. Finally, as she spent that week thinking on it more and more, she admitted to herself why it was she was so afraid. She had never much gotten along with her father, and the age difference between her and sister kept the younger girl from being able to get truly close to Kaname. The only person she had ever opened up to completely had been her mother. When she died over three years ago, Kaname closed herself off. She didn't go completely cold, she still cared for others. But she hadn't wanted to fall in love and become so vulnerable once again. It was a bit late for that, though. So why keep holding back? It wasn't as though not speaking her feelings would make them disappear. They were there, and there to stay, that much was painfully obvious. Especially painfully so whenever it was Sousuke went on mission, leaving her to worry for his safety. Finished with her task in the kitchen, she dropped heavily on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Just what in the hell was she waiting for? Any thought that she wanted him to be the first to say it was just an excuse, and she well knew it. She had been ready to be the one to put it all out there once before, now she was just putting it off, and for no good reason. I see you waiting Lonesome, lonely I see you waiting I see you waiting A sharp knock on the door snapped her out of her thoughts. Looking at the clock, she grunted as she dragged herself to her feet and went to answer. Quickly peeking through the hole, her spirits lifted at the familiar stoic stance of the person on the other side. Opening up, she stared up at him, confused when he made no effort to walk in. Tilting her head to the side, she chewed on her lip nervously, "Sousuke? Is everything all right?" That seemed to wake him up, and he blinked as though seeing her for the first time. Nodding slowly, he shifted his weight uncomfortably, "Yes. Everything is fine." Their eyes met once more, regret, sadness, weariness, and loneliness mirrored in amber and grey gazes. After a time, they both opened their mouths to say something, and both clamped their mouths shut to allow the other to speak. Smiling wryly, Kaname interrupted Sousuke's next attempt to speak with a short shake of her head. "You first." He blinked at her, as though surprised that she knew what he was about to say, then smiled and shook his head, with an expression on his face that said he clearly ought to have known better. Now, he just had to get the words out. Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel I just hit the floor, don't ask for more I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason Let's make the call and take it all I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my "I... missed you," he murmured, after several long minutes had passed. Disgusted with himself for not being able to say what he truly wanted, he stared down at his feet. Kaname gripped the doorjamb, looking over Sousuke's shoulder with a slight frown. She nodded just a bit, stepping aside and holding the door open. "I missed you, too." Taking the offered entrance, Sousuke hung up his coat and leaned down to unlace his boots. Finally closing the door on the freezing temperatures, Kaname rubbed her arms to warm up, just realizing how cold she had been, standing there like that, waiting. "I'll make some tea," she whispered, Sousuke grunting his acknowledgment as he tugged his boots off and set them aside. She walked past him and back into the kitchen, filling a pot with water and setting it on the stove top. Sousuke stepped in behind her, frowning as she shivered and tried to warm herself once more. Feeling guilty that he had left her standing in the cold for nothing, he steeled himself and stepped forward, "Chidori." Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel I just hit the floor, don't ask for more I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason Let's make the call and take it all I'm wasting my time again, woah again "It'll just be a few minutes for the water to boil," she answered, turning around after setting down the tea she would make. The look in Sousuke's eyes kept her from making any further comments. She couldn't glance away if she had wanted to, and he slowly walked up to stand directly in front of her. His hands lifted and he lightly gripped her arms, smoothing his palms over her as he partly tried to warm her, partly used it as an excuse to have some physical contact as he finally willed himself to stop wasting both of their time already and say it. "I love you, Chidori." Letting out the breath she'd been holding some of the redness left her cheeks as she filled her lungs, though the happy blush kept her face heated. Smiling up at him, she tilted her head and nodded just a bit, slipping her arms under his and around his back, "I love you, too, Sousuke." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her close, pressed tightly against his chest, and she snuggled against him for the warmth. Ducking his head, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and let out a long sigh. She tried to shift to look up at him, but he held her too tightly, and so she settled for making an inquisitive noise instead. Smiling, he ran a hand along her hair and shook his head. "That was easier than I thought it'd be." "Then why'd it take you so long?" she asked, laughter ringing in her voice. Grinning, he pulled back and shrugged, "I'm not sure. What about you?" She chuckled and returned the shrug, smiling broadly up at him. "Good question. Let's not waste any more time dwelling on it though, hm?" "Agreed."
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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 9:59:18 GMT -7
Trees
Sitting in the cafe with her family, Kaname looked out the window at the people passing by. Ordinarily, the sight of her husband trying desperately to get their four-year-old to eat potatoes would have her fighting back giggles, but she was distracted by a series of thoughts she'd been having often lately. Sighing wistfully, she murmured her thoughts aloud. "I want another baby..."
Sousuke and Shizuko both paused in their game to stare at her. Opening his mouth to respond, Sousuke was cut off by the young girl's sudden, and loud, interest, "Where do babies come from?"
"Uhh," stiffening, Sousuke's brain all but shut off as he came up blank on how to handle that. Kaname stared at the child with wide eyes, adults at surrounding tables chuckling knowingly at their plight.
Clearing her throat, Kaname resolved herself as she tried to come up with a good enough answer for the clever girl. "Well, that's... Hmm. It's sort of like, well, like planting a seed for a tree. The child is grown in the mother, after the father, uhm, provides the, uh, seed, to, er, create the child. After several months, the child grows enough that she no longer needs to be-."
"Wait! Seed? I'm a tree? Ew! I don't wanna be a tree, Mommy! Daddy, Daddy, why did you-!"
Face bright red, Sousuke shoved a forkful of the dreaded potatoes in his daughter's mouth, shutting her up for the time being. Meeting Kaname's mortified gaze, he shook his head in disbelief of their situation. Looking down at the unhappy child, he put a hand on her head and spoke sternly, "We can continue this later. In about ten years. For now, eat your vegetables."
Lifting a hand to cover a grin at Shizuko's grimace, Kaname raised her brows questioningly to her husband when his attention returned to her. "Ten years?" she mouthed to him, amused. He shrugged and held up his hands, fingers held out to sign "twenty," and she burst out in laughter.
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Post by Misha on Aug 21, 2012 10:00:30 GMT -7
Nails
Sousuke leaned his head back, setting his magazine down in his lap as he listened to the sound of his son's cries from down the hall. Kaname was with the infant, there was no need for him to respond, but as he thought about it, it seemed he had been crying for a long time. Wondering if his wife needed help, he set aside his reading material and rose to his feet. He rubbed the back of his head as he walked to the other end of the house, opening up the door to the nursery.
What he saw had him immediately concerned. Kaname sat in the rocking chair, tears streaming down her face as she hugged the wailing child close to her chest. Rushing over to the pair, he settled one hand on his son's back, one on his wife's shoulder, "Kaname? Kaname, what's wrong?" Sniffling, she gingerly held a tiny hand and showed it to him. There were blood spots under the boy's fingernails, and that seemed to be the cause of both of their tears. "What happened?"
"I was clipping his nails," she kissed the child's knuckles, carefully settling his hand back down and snuggling him close. "I didn't notice until I was done, I cut them too close. Sousuke, I hurt him...!"
Blinking at the desperation in her tone, Sousuke internally heaved a sigh of relief that that's all it was. He gave his wife an encouraging smile and kissed her forehead. "It's okay, Kaname. He's fine, don't worry about it."
"He won't stop crying!"
"He's probably wet or something. Let me take him while you calm down, okay? I promise, he's all right."
She looked reluctant to hand him over, but after a few moments of staring into each other's eyes, she gave in with a nod. Sousuke eased the child into his arms. Once he was sure the boy was settled, he gripped Kaname's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she forced a smile and a nod. He leaned in for a kiss, and as he pulled away, he looked down at their now-quiet son with an odd expression on his face.
"What is it?"
"I think he's just hungry."
Kaname looked down to the boy. The sight before her startled a laugh from her, and she shook her head with a relieved grin. The boy turned his head to face his mother, giving her a view of the wet spot on Sousuke's shirt where the child had tried to latch onto his father's nipple. "I guess that's all it was. I don't think he's going to get much out of you, I'll take him back now."
Voice dry, Sousuke responded blandly, "Good idea."
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